‘He who controls the past, commands the future. He who commands the future conquers the past’ George Orwell
It is likely that by the time you have reached the second stage of your life you will have gained valuable life experiences - both good and bad - and however you look at them; they all provide important indicators for planning your new life as a single person
I believe that knowing and embracing our life story plays a significant role in our emotional recovery and is therefore important for moving forward.
An essential part of valuing and understanding yourself is to connect with what you already know about yourself. Using this information can greatly enhance the planning of your new life.
The following exercise will help you move on with confidence, energy and enthusiasm.
In an exercise book, head each page with 10-year blocks e.g. 1 - 9; 10 - 19; 20 – 29 and so on right up to the decade of your current age.
On each page ask yourself what events and people have played a significant part of your life, both positive and negative e.g.:
* Began or finished school / college / university
* Started new job / Promoted to manager
* Susan born
* Cancer scare
* Moved house
* Got divorced
* Fell out with Rob
* Mother died
And so on. Think of as many things as you can but don’t dwell on what you have written.
Put the book away overnight then read what you have written
What are the recurring or significant events?
* Why do you think they occurred?
* What were they trying to teach you?
* What can you learn from them?
Our disappointments, challenges and mistakes also provide valuable lessons that we can learn from
* What have been the biggest disappointments in your life and why?
* What have been your greatest challenges? How have you overcome them?
We are often so busy in our lives we forget to acknowledge the progress we have already made. Spend a few minutes thinking about the things you have done in your life that you are proud of. Write them down and add to your list whenever things pop into your mind that you had forgotten, as they undoubtedly will!
Reflecting on the life lessons you have learned from these exercises what are the most valuable pieces of advice you can give yourself for the next phase of your life?
'Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself and know that everything in this life has purpose. There are no mistakes, no coincidences. All events are blessings given to us to learn from' Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
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