We all need our family and friends and never more so than when we are facing or undertaking a major life change.
If we lose a partner, for whatever reason, sometimes relationships we shared with them are lost or damaged and the fear of feeling isolated or lonely becomes greater.
It is therefore important, when we begin a new life, to review our relationships and to develop new ones while fostering older friendships.
One way of reviewing your relationships is by drawing a circle the size of a coin with three increasingly larger circles round it.
The inner-most circle is you.
In the first circle around it write the names of the people in your life with whom you share great intimacy, your secrets and heartfelt emotions. These are the people that are so dear to you that their absence would impact greatly on your life. They may or may not include family members.
In the next circle write the names of people who are friends and relatives you call upon to go out to dinner or see a movie, but are not those who you consider your most dear friends or those you must see regularly.
In the third circle you need to include the names of the people you participate with in life. This could contain spiritual groups, work colleagues, school college and university mates, people from sports and other clubs and organisations you belong to. Some of these individuals may move to the first or second circle in the future
Put people in the fourth circle who are paid to be in your life e.g. doctors, dentists, teachers, hairdressers, car mechanics, financial advisers and the like.
Most people have a reasonable number in each of the circles. However people who have recently lost or come out of a permanent relationship may not have any or many in the first circle.
It is the third circle that is the garden for growing future relationships. So to make new friends join a club or society, an evening class, gym or organisation where your interests are shared. Also consider becoming a volunteer.
It is also important to nurture and develop current relationships. So pick up the phone or your mouse more often to keep in touch and ask a colleague, neighbor or friend if they would like to go for a walk, see a film or join you for some retail therapy! It means making the effort but it will be worth it in the end.
Comments