In part one I talked about the need for action to build self confidence and how taking small steps gave me the courage to go to the side of the world on my own. In Part 2 I will share some of the tools I used to help me.
Imagine
Before doing something for the first time I imagine myself doing it successfully.So take a tip from successful sports men and women who visualize success many times before an event or match.The mind does not know the difference between imagination and reality.
Act
I began acting as if I was already confident by mimicking a friend who exudes self confidence. So I walked with my head held high with shoulders back and paid attention to my posture. (I find wearing shoes with a heel helps) I gave people eye contact when they were talking to me and talked in a confident tone. I thought 'what the heck I will never meet these people again so lets give it a whirl' and practiced at home before I left.By acting as if I was already confident it gradually became a habit. Remember what you practice you become.
Pay attention to self talk
I started paying attention to 'Nagging Nora', the disaster forecaster in my head who seemed intent on pointing out everything that could possibly go wrong. Each time she bestowed her wisdom by telling me the plane was bound to crash or that people would feel sorry for me on my own, I interrupted her by shouting 'STOP' (to myself of course!) When she criticized me I turned down the volume of her voice and tuned into the Disney channel using imaginary controls.This makes it hard to take admonishments seriously.
Dress up
I took care over my appearance.When you look good it changes the way you feel about yourself (and gave me a good excuse for a new wardrobe before my trip!)
Breathing
I found a powerful way to calm myself and feel more confident before the flight was to use the following breathing technique.
Sit or stand comfortably with your feet on the floor.Breathe in through your mouth until your rib cage lifts up and outwards and hold for the count of three. Then breathe slowly out through your mouth making a faint 'haaaaaaa' sound.I do this five or six times whenever I want to feel calm and confident and it certainly works for me.
So take progressively bigger steps on a regular basis to stretch your comfort zone and build those confidence muscles. Put on some slap along with your best outfit,walk tall and use your body to act confidently. Talk to yourself in a positive way and remember to take off those negative knickers and put on your positive pants! Then go for it girl!!!
'Courage is being afraid but going on anyhow' Dan Rather
What difference would having self confidence make to your life?
Here's to a confidant you - the second time around!
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